Things happened for a reason

As cliché as it sounds, it is for real people..

There are things back in my past that I really regret doing.. I regret it so much that sometimes I felt ashamed of myself.. I made bad decisions.. I just hope it doesn’t get back to me.. To Him I pray for my better life in the future..

But, if not because of events happening in the past, I might not be me today.. If not because of that bad and stupid decision I made, I won’t be as patient as I am today.. and if it is not because of those events and bad decisions mix together, I won’t be married to the love of my life today..

*mind you.. mood gedik and reminiscence ni sebab kene tinggal ngan suami for rezeki yang halal untuk keluarga, katenye.. ameen~~*

I hate reminiscing my old past.. I was too gullible… I was to nice.. and some incidents, I was just too stupid.. Wasn’t even thinking and making decision out of emotions.. Everyone learn new traits/experience day in and day out.. whether the hard way or the nice way.. too bad if you bumped into the hard way..

antara perkara yang aku regret most, is moving to my current work.. aku terlalu mengikut perasaan kerana bos yang ego tinggi.. aku pun same je.. bila ada “good offer” depan mata, siapa pun jadi buta.. samada nak sedar atau tidak je.. aku kurang bijak dengan perasaan.. actually.. untuk kerja ni je, aku buta.. selama ni, aku buat research.. bukak website paling kurang.. tanya orang sana sini.. tapi kerja ni, aku terima dgn hati terbuka.. da masuk, baru nak tengok website.. not promising at all.. there was nothing.. blog aku yang tak update ni pun lagi banyak benda.. hehe..

bulan pertama.. msih berfikiran positif.. company SME (small medium enterprise).. so tak ramai orang and most of the stuff, kene tolong each other.. for me, orang kat ofis bagi aku buat IT and marketing stuff.. Takde laa handal, tapi boleh laa buat dan tolong yang mana mampu.. after awhile.. gaji tak bayar dua bulan.. job pun tak masuk.. politik cam shial.. so I got fedup.. motivasi untuk kerja hilang.. cuma datang untuk kawan kawan and free wifi.. bukan taknak buat kerja.. tapi kerja pun takde.. kene cari kerja sendiri..

Doing business development & planning definitely ade sangkut paut ngan duit.. tp, gaji pun susah nak settle, apetah lagi nak buat marketing.. so lebih kurang terkubur jer.. Alhamdulillah though, things have gone from definitely-die scenario to worst scenario.. so.. da boleh laa bernafas.. gaji wpun lambt.. tapi still berbayar up-to-date.. cuma ada laa yang blom berbayar.. especially bos2 gaji besar nak mati.. with a new business development director on board, things have gone quite promising. walaupun die masuk, duit dalam akaun kompeni maseh takde, tapi sekurang-kurangnya, kalau CEO nak something, die tak terime seadanya.. he is very practical.. so aku suke.. die tau ape yang boleh, dan ape tak boleh..

Tapi.. aku masih risau ngan kompeni ni regardless…

konklusi, sile roger kalau ade keje kosong yang best.. hahahaha

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